The Bowring Chronicles-Episode Six: The Legend of the Red Valkyrie
"Welcome back to The Bowring Chronicles, where the trees are innocent, the squirrels are judgemental, Billy's gone the bar, and every Wednesday proves that the best stories begin with...
"...Watch this."
Good evening, fellow plastic enthusiasts.
Another glorious Wednesday has come and gone.
The sun shone.
The baskets caught (most of) what was thrown at them.
The trees continued their campaign against overconfidence.
And somewhere in the distance...
A red Valkyrie took flight.
We'll come back to that.
🚨 BREAKING NEWS
Officials have confirmed that David's Red Valkyrie was once again seen crossing three postcodes before eventually deciding where to land.
Witnesses described the flight as...
"Still going..."
"Still going..."
"HOW IS IT STILL GOING?!"
Experts are beginning to suspect the disc has frequent flyer points.
🌳 Tree of the Week
This week's winner...
The tiny branch nobody noticed.
Until they did.
Congratulations on another flawless defensive performance.
🐿️ Wildlife Watch
Barry was spotted watching David's drive.
Eyewitnesses claim Barry instinctively ducked.
Probably wise.
He later returned to observe putting, where he looked considerably more relaxed.
📹 Kev's Camera Corner
Kev was everywhere this week.
Again.
One minute he's filming a beautiful drive.
The next he's lying on the floor trying to get "the perfect angle."
Rumour has it he learnt his trade creating content for the legendary Mersey Masters.
If you've ever wondered how Kev and Laura manage to fill player packs with enough goodies to rival Christmas morning...
Nobody really knows.
Some say it's networking.
Others believe Laura simply smiles, Kev picks up a camera...
...and sponsors appear.
Scientists are baffled.
Tournament players are delighted.
😊 Bowring's Official Welcome Committee
Laura welcomed another newcomer this week.
Within five minutes they'd been introduced to half the group.
Within ten minutes they were laughing.
Within twenty minutes they were already talking about buying discs.
Honestly...
We're beginning to think she's secretly recruiting.
🧠 Professor Harley Explains...
This week's topic...
"Why discs with the same numbers don't always fly the same."
Nobody asked.
Everybody listened.
Somebody even took notes.
Harley also reminded everyone that beans are, apparently, a perfectly acceptable post-round meal.
No objections were raised.
📖 Dad's Corner
Ruaraidh quietly watched events unfold before offering this week's wisdom.
"Nice and smooth. Let the disc do the work."
Billy nodded thoughtfully.
Then replied...
"Cheers, Dad."
Without missing a beat, Harley wandered past.
"Alright, Grandad."
Ruaraidh sighed the sigh of a man who knows resistance is futile.
🎙️ Overheard at Bowring
"That's got miles on it!"
"Tree..."
"No... not THAT tree..."
"I've absolutely launched that!"
"Who's got eyes on it?"
"Dad says slow down."
"Grandad agrees."
🚶 Bowring Search & Rescue
Mission:
Locate one suspiciously orange disc.
Time taken:
Eight minutes.
People involved:
Everyone except Billy.
Billy had...
...well...
...gone the bar.
The disc was eventually discovered exactly where the owner had first said it was.
Nobody apologised.
That's not how search parties work.
🏆 Excuse of the Week
This week's winner...
"I was trying to throw it like Dave."
Unfortunately...
Physics intervened.
❤️ The Long Walk
There's always a lovely moment after David absolutely launches the Red Valkyrie.
The rest of us stand quietly.
Watching.
Waiting.
Still watching.
Eventually somebody says...
"Well... we'd better start walking."
It's one of those moments that reminds you why distance is so impressive.
Not because it's flashy.
Because it's effortless.
Meanwhile the rest of us are congratulating ourselves for making it halfway.
🍺 BREAKING NEWS
At 7:17pm...
Billy went the bar.
Club historians have confirmed this maintains a perfect attendance record.
The barman had already started pouring.
📜 Bowring Wisdom #6
"Comparison is the thief of joy... unless you're comparing stories. Then everyone's a winner."
Throw your throw.
Celebrate everyone else's.
That's Bowring.
Until Next Wednesday...
The Red Valkyrie will fly again.
Kev will capture it from an angle nobody thought possible.
Laura will make someone feel like they've been part of the club for years.
Professor Harley will teach us something we didn't know we wanted to know.
Ruaraidh—sorry...
Dad—will quietly remind us not to try too hard.
Billy will ignore all sensible advice.
Then go the bar.
David will quietly put the baskets away after another evening spent helping everyone else enjoy theirs.
And somewhere, high in a tree...
Barry will watch the whole thing unfold with the expression of a squirrel who already knows how next week's Chronicle ends.
Until then...
Throw the shot you've got.
Laugh louder than your bad throws.
Help someone find their disc.
And if you ever hear someone say...
"I'm going to outdrive Dave..."
May we respectfully suggest...
Pack a sandwich.
It's going to be a long walk.
— Filed by the Completely Unqualified Correspondents of The Bowring Chronicles
"Keeping Liverpool's most important disc golf news in print, one tree kick at a time."
